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Do you know which questions not to ask a new mom? 

What should you never say to a new mom?

It’s better to be prepared while visiting a new mom. Here is a list of questions not to ask a new mother.

Questions not to ask a new mom

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23 Questions Not To Ask A New Mom, Scroll Down To Know More !!!!!

What do new parents fear most? New parents fear the questions relatives ask while visiting them. What not to do when visiting a new mom? Please avoid asking the following questions while looking in on a new mom.

1.

When Will You Lose Weight? 

Already a new mom is conscious about her weight gain, don’t add on to her troubles. She has already gained a lot of kilos during pregnancy. Instead, give her tips to stay fit and healthy. It will be more useful for her. 

2.

Do You Breastfeed Your Baby Or Formula Feed? 

Many women have a problem producing milk at the time of their baby’s birth. She is worried about feeding her baby. Formula feeding or breastfeeding is her choice. Avoid being her doctor. Instead, advise her of useful healthy options to increase her breast milk supply. 

3.

Was It A C- Section Or A Normal Delivery? 

Avoid making a new mom guilty about a c-section. Time has changed, and so is technology. Being a doctor myself, no gynecologist on earth advises c sections unnecessary. C – SECTION is recommended only during hours of labor or the baby’s life is at stake. The ultimate goal is a healthy baby no matter how the delivery is. Instead congratulate her to give birth as it takes a lot of guts to deliver. 

4.

Is It A Baby Boy, Or A Girl? 

Avoid asking about the gender of the baby. Be it a boy or a girl they should be healthy. Both are precious for a new mom. Do not gender shame them. Instead, motivate them that even if it is a girl she will rock the world. This is the 21 St century, there is no difference between a girl and a boy. Just ask about the health of the newborn. 

5.

Why Is The Baby Crying So Much? 

A new mom is learning every day to be a parent. It will be difficult for her to take care of both her and the baby. She is learning to calm the newborn. She does not know whether the baby is hungry or has soiled her diaper. Give her some time to understand. Help her to calm the baby instead of just questioning the baby’s tantrums.

6.

When Are You Planning Your Next Baby? 

Nowadays people tend to be more fast-forward. They might be slow themselves but their expectations from others are unreal. l have seen relatives asking for another baby on their visit to hospitals for the first baby. Are women childbearing machines? Instead, give them advice on how to raise their newborn constructively. She will feel good.

7.

Why Do You Get Up So Late? 

You never know what a new mom faces during the night. Don’t judge her for getting up late. She might have been awake the entire night. Ask her whether she has slept well instead. If not, allow her to sleep a few more hours so she is fresh the entire day. Work can be postponed but the mental well-being of a new mom is far more important. 

8.

Does Your Husband Help With Chores? 

 Many husbands think that household chores are a female’s job only. They don’t help even during childbirth. So don’t ask new moms whether their partners are supporting them or not. Instead, advise their better halves to do so. This will surprise the new mom and she will be more than happy. 

9.

Why Is The Baby Not Gaining Weight? 

Weight gain depends upon body type and genes. A newborn will gain weight gradually. Don’t give tension to the new mom. Her pediatrician is there to guide her about baby weight. Avoid giving judgments blindly. Instead, advise her which will be fruitful for baby weight. 

10.

When Will You Resume Your Job? 

A new mom is already worried about her job, don’t add to her worries. She will resume her job when she is prepared. Now she is excited and nervous about her mommy phase. Support her by giving advice and assurance. She will feel good about it. Tell her to resume work only when she is fully confident about juggling both work and home. 

11.

Who Paid The Hospital Bills? 

Many aunties are keen to know about bills and hospitals. They want to know which in-laws have paid the hospital bills. Avoid this question. It’s their family’s decision. Respect their privacy. If the female’s family has not paid for it it will hurt her. Does it even matter to you about bills? Have they asked you to pay for it? Avoid this question on your visit to a new mom.

12. 

Who Will Take Care Of The Baby When You Work? 

New moms are already apprehensive about their job. Don’t add on to their sufferings. Refrain from asking job-related questions. Instead, you should support her and say this phase will pass soon. Remember when she will plan to resume her work, her priority will be her baby and security. Give her productive advice to balance work and home which will be cherished for a lifetime.

 13.

Is Your Milk Sufficient For Your Baby? 

Every female body is different. Some secrete milk early, some late. The new mom is anxious too about feeding. Instead of taunting her about the baby crying, less milk secretion, etc. support her with ideas to increase breast milk. She will be grateful for a lifetime.

14.

Will You Co-Sleep With Your Baby? 

Co-sleeping is the choice of the parents. No one should interfere with their decision. Co-sleeping or sleeping separately has its benefits. As the new mom goes through a lot of changes physically performers formally don’t ever as performers for onal choices of them.

15.

Will You Call Someone ( maalishwali) To Massage Your Baby? 

In India more specifically people appoint females to massage their babies. It’s not a ritual but a compulsion. You can massage your baby with no need for any maalishwali. Just teach new moms how to handle babies. If you have other children then you can appoint them just to help you in some way. 

16.

Why Is The Baby’s Color So Dark, Didn’t You Drink Saffron (Kesar) Milk? 

It’s a myth that saffron milk enhances the color of the baby. It is the work of melanocytes in your body and nothing else. This question makes the new mom more conscious. She will try all market formulas to make her baby fair. Instead, say the baby will change its color you need not worry. 

 17.

Will You Try For A Third Time? (In the case where the firstborn is a girl and the second one too is a girl child ) 

I don’t know why people are more obsessed with the birth of a boy. Ain’t gender not matter? Don’t ask this question to pregnant females. This will break the woman emotionally. Instead, supporting her about gender does not matter. 

18.

Planning For Office? Who Will Take Care Of Baby When You Go To Office?

For a new mom motherhood is a new experience in itself. She is at a stage of chaos and happiness. Resuming work is a personal decision . Let her fix her time schedule with the new born first, It takes time to figure out stuffs after delivery. Don’t make her guilty about staying at home. Mom duties are 24/7 let her deal her Mamahood on first priority.

19.

Don’t You Feel Guilty About Gaining Excess Weight?

You will definitely gain weight during pregnancy. But after delivery you will reduce some. some gain weight during breastfeeding period. As a doctor I recommend all mommies to ignore such body shaming attacks. I request all relatives not to target on weight. Your comment might affect new Mommie deep. She will reduce eventually , always share some useful tips for same.

20.

Why Don’t You Try X, Y, Z Home Remedies For Baby’s Cold And Cough?

There are many grandmothers remedies available at each household for health issues. Refrain from giving unsolicited advice on baby’s flu. Always advice her to consult a qualified doctor for same. Don’t risk the life of a newborn . Your Advice may be not always right. Instead if she tries any home remedies advice her to take doctors appointment first.

21.

When You Will Hit Gym ?

This is a common Question new mums are always asked . Let her manage her time first with her newborn. She might have not slept at night, and you want her to go to gym? I suppose a newborn would rather want a healthy and sane mum as compared to a zero figure one. So please don’t ask this question.

22.

Why Don’t You Take Care Of Yourself, Look At Those Dark Circles?

Motherhood is happy phase no doubt but get a reality check first. This phase comes with a lot of exhaustion and sleepless nights too. Instead of commenting on her dark circles help her with some time management skills. Advice her on self care at home. She wants to hear positive stuffs instead of pinpointing her on messy look.

23.

Why Don’t You Answer Phone Calls At Once?

As mentioned earlier New moms are facing a lot with nights. At this crucial phase people should understand that attending her new born is more important than to attend your call. Visit her often, help her with baby duties she will be more happy .  Commenting her sarcastically about not giving her time to you will be a selfish act on your side.

I hope you all will refrain from asking such questions. Which question were you asked apart from this during your motherhood period? Please share with Mommiemantra in the comment section.