Are you looking for answers to whether is it normal to resent your newborn?
Is it normal not to like your newborn?
Do you feel whether Is it normal to have feelings of regret after having a baby?
In this blog, we will discuss the causes of postpartum resentment and provide solutions for dealing with it healthily.
Is It Normal To Resent Your Newborn? Facts Checked
It’s normal to feel overwhelmed and exhausted after giving birth, but for some new parents, these feelings can become more intense and lead to postpartum resentment.
What Is Postpartum Resentment?
Postpartum resentment is a feeling of resentment or dislike towards your newborn baby, and can be caused by a variety of factors. This includes physical exhaustion from a lack of sleep, hormonal changes, fear of the unknown, and postpartum depression. It can also be caused by feelings of guilt or a lack of support from family or friends.
If you’ve given birth, you may have heard of postpartum depression, but you may be unfamiliar with postpartum resentment. Postpartum resentment is a complex emotion that is often misunderstood and rarely discussed. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed and exhausted in the first weeks after giving birth. The sheer amount of adjustment that comes with having a baby is immense. You may find yourself trying to juggle a range of conflicting emotions as your body transitions from pregnancy to parenthood.
Postpartum resentment is not about hating your baby or wishing he or she was never born—far from it. It is an emotion characterized by feelings of anger, frustration, and sadness, often directed at the changes that come with being a parent. For many mothers, the exhaustion and stress brought on by the sleepless nights and endless diaper changes can lead to feeling bitter and resentful towards their infant or partner for taking away their former life or freedom.
Common Causes of Resentment Towards a Newborn
It may seem hard to believe, but postpartum resentment is a common emotion among mothers in the weeks and months following the birth of their child. While it’s not talked about as much as postpartum depression, it can be just as serious and lead to immense guilt and distress in new mothers.
Some of the most common causes of postpartum resentment include:
– Lack of sleep
After giving birth, many mothers find themselves exhausted from the long hours of labor and getting used to life with a newborn. This exhaustion can cause feelings of frustration or anger.
– Loss of autonomy
Many women feel a sudden loss of autonomy after the birth of their child due to having to make decisions on behalf of their baby, instead of for themselves.
– Lifestyle change
Women may experience feelings of resentment after giving birth if they feel their lifestyle has drastically changed due to taking care of a newborn. This could include the inability to go out with friends or take part in activities that they enjoyed before giving birth.
– Rejection
Some women may experience feelings of resentment towards their baby if they feel rejected when they are breastfeeding or if their baby doesn’t respond positively when being cuddled as other babies do.
Does Resenting Your Newborn Not Make You a Bad Parent?
Resenting your newborn does not make you a bad parent, but it’s important to understand why you may feel this way and how to cope with it. Postpartum resentment is common and can occur due to a variety of factors.
– Biological Changes
Rapid hormonal changes that take place in the postpartum period can leave new mothers struggling with depression, which may cause them to become resentful toward their babies. Hormonal changes can also lead to fatigue, which can lead to exhaustion and further feelings of resentment.
– Lack of Support
Many women feel unsupported in the postpartum period – whether that’s from a lack of family and friends or from healthcare providers who don’t take their needs seriously. This lack of support can lead to feelings of resentment towards the newborn for disrupting one’s life.
– Unrealistic Expectations
New mothers, particularly first-time moms often have unrealistic expectations about motherhood which are dashed when reality sets in. This can lead to feelings of resentment as they try to meet their expectations. It’s important to recognize that postpartum resentment is normal and doesn’t make you a bad parent.
Warning Signs You Need to Reach Out for Help
There are some warning signs that you may need to reach out for help when dealing with resentment after having a baby. Here are some of the signs that you should be aware of:
– Constant negative thoughts toward your baby or significant other
– Intense, uncontrollable anger that you feel towards your baby or significant other
– Difficulty finding pleasure in activities that previously gave you joy
– Sincere wish that you had never had a baby or never gotten pregnant
– Feelings of guilt, shame, and/or inadequacy surrounding your thoughts and actions related to the baby
– Feeling isolated from friends and family because of your resentment
These are just some of the warning signs that indicate it’s time to speak with a professional. Seeking counseling can help you work through your feelings in a safe environment where a professional can provide you with positive coping strategies and resources to manage your emotions. Additionally, many therapists specialize in working with new mothers who are struggling with postpartum depression, grief, and/or resentment.
How can I be happy again after having a baby?
The key is recognizing the sources of your resentment so that you can begin managing it more effectively.
1.
Practicing Self-Care and Asking for Help
When it comes to postpartum resentment, mothers need to take special care of themselves. Practicing self-care is essential in managing these feelings and ensuring their well-being. Rather than trying to do it all alone, reach out and ask for help. This might involve speaking with a therapist or doctor, or simply asking a friend or family member if they can lend a hand. The simple act of sharing your feelings with another person can provide some much-needed support and understanding during this difficult time. It is also important to make sure that you are getting enough sleep, eating well, and exercising regularly. By taking the time for self-care, you will be better equipped to manage the stress and anxiety of parenting more effectively.
2.
Solutions to Overcome Resentful Feelings
It is normal to feel overwhelmed, exhausted, and even resentful of your baby in the postpartum period. However, it is important to address these feelings as soon as possible. Here are some solutions to help you bond with your baby:
3.
Spend Quality Time With Your Baby
Spend quality one-on-one time with your baby and get to know them. Listen carefully to them and try interacting in different ways, like engaging in conversation, singing songs, or reading stories together.
4.
Accept Help
Don’t be afraid to accept help from loved ones or professionals when needed. This can give you much-needed breathing space and the opportunity to seek out support from those who understand your feelings.
5.
Connect With Other Moms
Reach out for support from other moms in similar situations – this could be online or through local organizations that offer support groups for new parents. Hearing similar stories can make you feel less isolated and remind you that you’re not alone in feeling overwhelmed or resentful at times.
6.
Check In With Yourself
Lastly, take time out each day just for yourself whether that’s a walk outside or a phone call with friends whatever makes you feel rejuvenated, relaxed, and better able to face new challenges with a clearer mind!
7.
Speaking to a Professional
Seeking professional help for postpartum resentment is sometimes necessary when the emotions felt become overwhelming and you cannot handle them on your own.
Having a baby can be a difficult process and many women struggle with feelings of resentment towards their newborn. It’s important to understand what’s at the root of this resentment, and not to let these feelings take control of your life. Instead, seeking support can help you to overcome these feelings and bring balance and joy to your post-baby life.
Through support, self-care, and understanding, it is possible to cope with postpartum resentment and build a healthier, more positive relationship with your baby.
Dr. Umera Zakiahmed Saiyed, Founder of new age compassion scape – ‘Mommie Mantra’ is a determined woman, passionate mom and an award winning Gynaecologist. She is on a mission to empower new age caregivers by offering experiential counsel that builds ‘momentum’ in ‘moms.’