How to deal with your in-laws after having a baby? Does this question haunt you?
Are you dealing with postpartum anger towards your mother-in-law?
Are you the one who is possessive over the baby with in-laws and can’t handle the situation?
So, to help you navigate this potentially tricky situation, I have compiled a list of advice to handle your query about How to deal with your in laws after having a baby.
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51 Points To Keep In Mind When , How To Deal With Your In-Laws After Having A Baby
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m sure your in-laws are lovely people who mean well. But having a new baby can be overwhelming. Interference in parenting is another situation to deal with. How to deal with your in laws after having a baby, needs a lot of patience.
Following are some pointers to deal with your extended family after giving birth.
1.
Set Boundaries Early On
Before the baby even arrives, have a conversation with your partner and his/her family about what you’re comfortable with in terms of visits, help around the house, etc.
2.
Communicate Clearly And Respectfully
If your in-laws do something that bothers you or crosses a boundary, try to approach the situation calmly and respectfully.
3.
Don’t Let Them Overstay
New parents need to have time alone with their new little family. Don’t feel obligated to let your in-laws stay for longer than you’re comfortable with.
4.
Take Advantage Of Any Help They Offer
If your in-laws are willing to help out with cooking or cleaning or anything else that would make your life easier, take them up on it!
5.
Be Gracious
No one likes an ungrateful recipient of their generosity. Make sure to show appreciation for any help or gifts you receive from your in-laws.
6.
Be Prepared For Unsolicited Advice
Everyone has opinions on how babies should be raised, and your in-laws will likely have some too. Take it with a grain of salt and politely decline if you don’t agree.
7.
Don’t Be Afraid To Say No
If your in-laws want to do something that you’re not comfortable with (like feeding your baby a certain way or taking them on a trip), it’s okay to say no.
8.
Encourage Them To Bond With The Baby In Their Way
Your in-laws are likely very excited to be grandparents, so let them have some one-on-one time with the baby if they’d like.
9.
Keep Them Updated On The Baby’s Milestones
Grandparents love hearing about their grandchildren’s firsts, so make sure to share any milestones (first smile, first word, etc.) with your in-laws.
10.
Don’t Forget About Your Parents
If your in-laws are getting a lot of attention from you and your partner, make sure to include your parents in things too.
11.
Have Realistic Expectations
Your in-laws may not be able to help out as much as you’d like. Try not to get too upset about it and appreciate whatever help they can give.
12.
Make Time For Yourself And Your Partner
New parents need to have time alone together, so don’t feel guilty about asking your in-laws to leave for a few hours or going out on a date night without the baby.
13.
Accept That They May Do Things Differently Than You Would
Everyone has their way of doing things, and that includes grandparents. Try not to get too upset if they don’t do things exactly the way you would.
14.
Be Open-Minded
Your in-laws may have some ideas or suggestions that you’ve never thought of before. Keep an open mind and consider their input before dismissing it outright.
15.
Don’t Feel Obligated To Entertain Them All The Time
You’re a new parent, which means you’re busy! Don’t feel like you need to entertain your in-laws all day every day.
16.
Be Patient
Your in-laws are likely just as excited about the baby as you are, so try to be patient with them if they’re a little overbearing at times.
17.
Set Up Boundaries For Social Media Sharing
If you’re not comfortable with your in-laws sharing pictures of your baby on social media or talking about them publicly, make sure to set those boundaries early on.
18.
Don’t Let Their Guilt Trip You
If your in-laws try to manipulate you into doing something, like letting them see the baby more often than you’re comfortable with, don’t let them guilt trip you into it.
19.
Be Firm But Kind
How to deal with your in laws after having a baby ? is a tricky question. If you do need to say no to something, try to be firm but kind when doing so. You don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings!
20.
Don’t Be Afraid To Ask For Help
If your in-laws offer to help out with something that would be beneficial like cooking a meal or doing laundry. Don’t be afraid to accept their offer.
21.
Create A Visiting Schedule
Creating a visit schedule can help to regulate the amount of time that in-laws can spend with the newborn. Having a schedule will help to prevent any surprises and give parents a chance to prepare for visits.
22.
Establish Rules For Visits
To ensure a safe and comfortable environment for the baby, it’s important to establish rules for visits. These rules should include things like no smoking, no alcohol, no loud noises, no pets, and no overnight visits.
23.
Agree On Gift-Giving Guidelines
In-laws often want to give gifts to the baby, however, this can quickly become overwhelming. Parents can decide what types of gifts they are comfortable with and what they would like to avoid.
24.
Respect Privacy
It’s important to respect the privacy of the parents and the baby. Parents should be able to decide when and how much information is shared with in-laws.
25.
Talk About Boundaries
It’s important to talk about boundaries with in-laws. This includes things like when visits should take place, how long visits should last, and what type of advice or input they can give. It’s important to talk to them about it and to enforce the boundaries if necessary.
26.
Avoid Confrontation
When dealing with intrusive in-laws, it’s important to avoid confrontation. This means avoiding arguments, raising voices, and name-calling. If the in-law continues to be difficult, it may be necessary to talk to them about it calmly and respectfully.
27.
Set Limits
It’s important to set limits when it comes to in-laws. Setting limits can help to ensure that parents can maintain control over their parenting style and the environment of their home.
28.
Take Breaks
Dealing with in-laws can be exhausting, so it’s important to take breaks. Parents should take time for themselves to relax and regroup when needed. Taking breaks can help to reduce stress and ensure that parents can maintain a healthy relationship with their in-laws.
29.
Seek Outside Help
Parents need to remember that they don’t have to deal with in-laws on their own. If parents are feeling overwhelmed, it’s important to ask for help. This could mean talking to a friend or family member, joining a support group, or seeking professional help.
30.
Utilise Technology
Technology can be a great way to stay connected with in-laws. Share pictures and milestones with your in-laws. So that they are satisfied from afar. With this content, they won’t be able to bother you much.
31.
Don’t Take Things Personally
If your mother-in-law is overstepping or being disrespectful, try to address the behavior calmly and respectfully. Avoid attacking or blaming language, and focus on how the behavior makes you feel.
32.
Respect And Appreciate Your In-Laws
In-laws may view the new baby as an extension of their own family, leading them to overstep boundaries and offer unsolicited advice. It’s important to remember that your in-laws’ behavior may be rooted in their desire to be involved and helpful, even if it comes across as invasive.
33.
Don’t Let Them Undermine Your Parenting
One of the biggest red flags in in-law relationships is toxic behavior. Signs of toxic in-law relationships include constant criticism, manipulation, and disrespect.
34.
Focus On The Needs Of Your Child
Mother-in-law etiquette when it comes to a new baby can be a sensitive topic, but it’s important to set clear boundaries and communicate your needs. Your baby should be your utmost priority.
35.
Keep Your Distance If Necessary
If you feel like your in-laws are emotionally or mentally abusive, it’s important to distance yourself from them for your well the well-being of your family. This can be a difficult decision, especially if you are living with your in-laws, but it’s important to prioritize your mental health and safety.
36.
Don’t Engage In Power Struggles
If you don’t like your in-laws, it can be challenging to maintain a positive relationship with them. However, it’s important to try to find common ground and communicate openly.
37.
Stay True To Yourself
Though you are being shamed you as a person know who are you. Do not let negative thoughts dismay you. Are you afraid of How to deal with your in laws after having a baby? Be truthful to yourself. The parenting time of your in-laws and yours is different. So do whatever your mom’s gut tells you to.
38.
Avoid Criticizing Your In-Laws
Dealing with intrusive mothers-in-law can be challenging, but it’s important to establish clear boundaries and communicate your needs. However, it’s important to remember that your in-laws may have a strong desire to be involved in the baby’s life. Avoid criticizing them instead appreciate their efforts.
39.
Focus On Your Baby
Your baby needs you more than anyone else. How to deal with your in laws after having a baby ? Divert your attention to your baby. You will find peace and tranquility in your baby. Avoid negative talks. Ignore them and raise them high as a mom.
40.
Don’t Let Them Dictate Your Life
Avoiding conflict and bottling up your feelings can make the situation worse in the long run. Try to find ways to connect with your in-laws outside of parenting, such as shared hobbies or interests. This can help to build a stronger relationship based on mutual respect and understanding.
41.
Practice Mindfulness
Mamahood is a mixed situation. You have to hustle around plenty of things. Self-care should be your priority. Practice yoga and meditation to react to negative situations. A calm mind can beat innumerable storms. Keep your cool Mom.
42.
Be Grateful For Their Help
Feeling possessive over your baby with in-laws is a common experience for new parents. It’s natural to want to protect your child and establish your family unit.
43.
Don’t Let Them Undermine Your Marriage
Keep Your Relationship with Your Spouse Strong. If you are experiencing emotional abuse from in-laws Talk with your husband to provide support as you establish boundaries and distance yourself from harmful behavior.
44.
Keep Your Cool in Public
I can feel your anxiousness Mom but try to keep your cool outside. The world need not hear your family’s arguments. Try to stay cool and calm when you step out of your home. Value relationships more than petty fights which can be avoided.
45.
Pay Surprise Visits To Them
If your in laws are staying in the same city, give them a surprise visit at weekends. They will be more happy. You can plan a romantic date too with your spouse leaving your baby with them. This will make baby and grandparents bond smooth.
46.
Keep Your Sense of Humor
Humor is important in life. It helps in relaxation in difficult situations. Try to watch comic movies or books to keep your mind fresh. The far you stay from negativity, the highest you will be at peace.
47.
Be Flexible
Do not set unrealistic goals. Do not get influenced by age-old grandma techniques. Be flexible and set minimum goals for the day. Little things will bring you joy, completion of small tasks will make you happy. Be flexible with your baby’s schedule.
48.
Don’t Let Them Disrupt Your Routine
Additionally, try to find ways to involve your mother-in-law in a way that feels comfortable for everyone, such as asking her to help with household tasks or watching the baby while you take a break.
49.
Don’t Let Them Interfere With Your Parenting
If you are living with your in-laws, try to create a schedule that allows for alone time with your partner and baby. This can help to prevent burnout and give you some space to recharge.
50.
Be Prepared For Unexpected Situations
Motherhood is a roller coaster ride. Be prepared for unusual things happening all of a sudden. Remember woman you are a mother, a warrior in itself. Be confident to face any situation wisely in life.
51.
Stay Positive
In the end, try to look good in every situation. Remember to prioritize your mental health and safety, and seek support if you need it. How to deal with your in laws after having a baby, is solved with these suggestions I guess.
Lastly, Managing in-law relationships as a new parent can be a challenge, but it’s important to prioritize communication, respect, and boundaries. I hope these tips can help you navigate this complex terrain.
Dr. Umera Zakiahmed Saiyed, Founder of new age compassion scape – ‘Mommie Mantra’ is a determined woman, passionate mom and an award winning Gynaecologist. She is on a mission to empower new age caregivers by offering experiential counsel that builds ‘momentum’ in ‘moms.’